Why?

[demariana]

Why do I continue to talk to people that just piss me off? Why do I have to stay in their 'good graces'? I know some of it is because I have seen their evil aimed at others and I really dont want to deal with it aimed at me. I play nice when I really just want to tell them off. I care too much about some people to cause enemies. I know if I snap my family will be behind me, but I really dont want to put them thru it. I need to just be able to let the jibes and one upmanship some of them do just roll off my back. They really arent worth getting upset about. I keep telling myself that. Maybe someday I will believe it. It just gets so old sometimes. I know they say certain things and then do the exact opposite. One puts smiley faces on almost everything s/he writes. Here, let me insult you, but see the smiley, I am just kidding, hahaha. BullShit. Maybe by talking about it in this journal I can finally get over some things. Be able to let the stuff just slide off. Not get so frustrated with them. It isnt worth it.

Comments

[spydielives.livejournal.com]

I think its good for those you are angry at to hear that you are angry at them. To let others get away with bad behavior is to encourage them to continue their behavior (because there is nothing wrong). How can someone learn its not nice to hurt someone else, if they never hear what they did hurt? They will just do the same thing again and again, anyway.

But screaming at them (like some parents do) doesn't always help either, in my opinion. Sometimes it can, but sometimes gently pulling the person aside and saying "hey, that was out of line and won't be tolerated in the future" is a nice adult response.

Just my two cents (and a review of a recent therapy session... speaking up for myself instead of sitting there feeling victimized [again] is a new skill I am working on)

Productive Anger

[tygermoonfoxx.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you're talking about. Everyone thinks that I'm so tough and assertive but the fact of the matter is when I get face to face with the situations you described, I always back down. If you ever find the answers to why and what to do about it, clue the rest of us in. I don't think you're alone in this particular character trait, however. It's a survival tactic and a much needed one in this weird world we live in.