demariana: (melodiehalf)
I got back into the water today and did laps for about 25 minutes. I told myself that if I went a whole month without getting in the water I would stop my Y membership. I honestly can't remember with being sick and such this month if I went earlier in the month so I went today. I was planning to go to water aerobics but slept thru that. At least I did it.

I am so ready for my good insurance to kick in tomorrow. I have an appt scheduled on the 19th since I am falling apart.

Sleep apnea: need to start using the cpap machine again. I was sick/congested for almost a month so it was impossible to use. I am still not convinced that it is helping though.

Right knee is bone on bone and I need to find a new doctor who will treat me with something other than get weight loss surgery so you can lose 150lbs so I can do a knee replacement

Left heal hurts when I want. webmd thinks it might be plantar fasciitis but of course I would love a doctor to diagnosis it.

Blood sugar is rising. I got back on metformin and it seems to be helping. By rising I mean mornings it was about 150-160 instead of the 110-130 it had been running. This is the main reason I am going to the doctor on the 19th. Also to check on my blood pressure. I think my bp is having some troubles but we shall see.

Hemorrhoids are bleeding fairly regularly and hurting. Probably need another look to make sure that is all it is. I have been trying to add more fiber and water to my diet. I have been making some changes which is helping I think.

I do think that I can get better, and that things will work out. 2017 will be a good year. I have a good job that I do enjoy. I have friends and family who love and support me. has been a great help over the past year to help me form some habits. I need to figure out some more so I can continue my growth. My girly parts are not trying to bleed every week and when I do have the time of the month it is rather light. This is a nice change. Hope it stays that way. I will get back to the pool and at least get some exercise. I need to stop snacking and eating out as much as I do. I want to figure out a short strength training routine to do at home. I have to get over the not doing anything since it might not be the right thing. Almost anything can be good. Just need to stick with it. Build some more muscle. Yes I am hurting most days but I can do things even with the pain. I need to just make sure I do not do more damage. Guess that is it for now.

Bah Humbug

Dec. 25th, 2016 11:06 am
demariana: (melodiehalf)
It is xmas day and I am so not feeling it. I want to just go crawl back into bed. I am of the mind why bother. I will not do anything stupid, but admit the thought has crossed my mind. Mostly in dreams. This year has been the worst I think for depression and just the blahs. One good thing is that I was able to spend time with my nieces on Friday. We went out to 2 stores and they got to pick what they wanted for xmas. They each got a shirt and a book. That made me happy. We had fun. I also made them brownies which my brother said were very good.

My body is falling apart and I am at the point where I really dont care. I just have a why bother about eating better. Not like it will help. Food is one of the few things that give me any pleasure. But then I start thinking about how unlovable I am. My guys dont think that, but I do.

Couldn't make it as a truck driver, couldn't make it as a bus driver for the blood center. Now I am back at a job I am good at but really don't enjoy. With the insurance though I might be able to get something done about my knee. We shall see.

Going to sign off here now. May go take a nap. *le sigh*
demariana: (melodiehalf)
I am in such a pissed off mood right now. My body is falling apart and I know it. I have a hard time walking with the arthritis in my knee. I get out of breath easily. My bp and sugar is not doing well. It is not really bad but heading that way. My insurance starts Dec 1st but my good insurance does not start till Jan 1st. I am bleeding where I shouldnt be. At least it is not bad. Just hurts and is annoying. I was suppose to have an appointment today to get biometrics done for work. When I get it done it gives me a $100 toward my FSA for next year. That would be great. Online I was able to make my appt no problem. The problem is that I went to the location and it was closed for the holidays. Corp should have known that. They had it so you could not make an appt on Thursday and they have it so you cant make an appt for Monday 12/26.

I did get the dishes done today and I am thinking about going to the Y. I really just want to crawl back into bed and let the day go by. No idea what to get people for the holidays. UGH. I use to be really good and finding things. The last 3-5 years I have sucked. Use to like going out the day after thanksgiving but that has not been the case for a couple of years. Not having money will do that.

Another thing I planned to get done today was call and pay on/off some medical bills that have been around for a bit. It was last year when I had to do an er visit with crappy insurance. Of course they are closed now as well. FUCK! One is only open 9-4 M-F and closed 12-1. I work 8-5 and have my lunch 12-1. So no way to really call and talk to them. Oh well.

This day has just sucked all around and it is not even 10:30. There is more but just writing about things is even making me more depressed. I am at times trying to be Pollyanna about it. Well this is bad but not as bad as it could be and this is good. That is just pissing me off. I just want to be pissed off. Get it out of my system and not have it go into a deep depression.
demariana: (melodiehalf)
I come here to write when it is just too much to talk about on FB or to me it is too personal to put out for all those that I have as 'friends' on FB. I feel safer here.

Things started about the first of July where we were home for the holiday. Dustbunnie was not looking well even with her meds working. She had lost more weight and I knew the time was getting close. I was hoping she would hold out till I came home again but that was not to be. We went back on the road on 7/5 and was to come back 7/27 (3 weeks out) Instead I got the call that she had taken a turn for the worst on Tuesday early afternoon. At that point we fired up the truck and started to head home from PA. About 2 hours later L called and said Dustbunnie had died in her arms. Today we got her ashes back. I love our vet. They are so respectful and helpful during this time. They were the same way with Melodie. So now we have 2 cats, Serendipity and Strife. They are almost 14 years old and we have had them since they were about 4-5 weeks old. I actually started my LJ about 1 month before we grabbed them from outside. I wrote about getting them on 10/9/2001.

Also this month the truck runs have SUCKED!!! We only had 7 runs in 2.5 weeks. Most of them short. A solo driver could have done them and not a team. It has been hard sitting so long. Twice we had to sit for about 4 days. Once was in Savannah and we had to use so much fuel to keep cool. It was so hot and muggy. Both of us got stressed and I got depressed. We have come to find out that July is normally slow since our bread and butter is the automotive industry and the plants shut down at this time to change over model years. So all the parts companies also slow/stop since the plants do not need the components. It should be much better when we go back in service on 8/3.

It is kinda good that we came home early since the truck has bed bugs. UGH! I have been bit multiple times. Very annoying. We have scheduled a heat treatment followed by chemical to get rid of the problem. We think they have been in the truck the whole time but the weather just got to where the eggs were hatching. Just so hard to sleep. I had just bought a mattress for the bottom bunk. We covered it in plastic and are hoping for the best.

Today I scheduled an interview with OfficeTeam/Account temps. I had to update my resume. I hate that! I did get it done though. I had not done it since I had started with Galls back in 2006. I am now registered with them so that when we are home for a week I can maybe get a short (3-5 day) assignment. Just something to do when home. They actually were happy that I am not someone looking for a full time temp to perm job. They said they have clients that only need someone for a couple of days and have a hard time filling those at times. I told them I can give them a week ahead of time when I will be in town. That it will be about 3 weeks out then 1 week home. I figure also if I have taxes taken out that this will help my taxes come April.

Final thing (I hope) is that our water heater died this morning. I was getting ready to take my shower for my interview and noticed Serendipity staring at the grate in the living room (air intake for heater/AC) I heard a noise and knew what it was. The water heater pop off valve had gone. I went down and turned the shut off valve for our water and also turned down the water heater temp. I called my mom and she said I could come over and take a shower at her place. YEAH! I was able to get over there, get clean and ready before my interview at 10:30. L called and got a company to come out and give an estimate. It is going to be almost $2000. Luckily we qualify for 18 months same as cash. YEAH!!! One problem is that our tank/basement is so old that they have to bring some things up to code. We are without water till Monday. Other good thing is that our neighbor is willing to let us use his outside faucet to fill up jugs. That way we can go the bathroom if nothing else. We also have bottled water to drink and to have for the cats.

So this has been my month of July. It just has to get better. The short runs and 2 weeks off is going to be hard on the wallet. My mom did loan me some money and Ren is going to help out as well. We are not as bad off as others out there. We have been worse at times I think. Just tired and stressed still. I do believe that it will get better.
demariana: (melodiehalf)
I gave notice in February and my last day at work was Friday March 6th. R got me and we headed out on Saturday to go to orientation. I started my new career as a truck driver on monday March 9th. For alittle over a month I drove on my permit with R beside me helping and training me. The first and second week of April we were back home to get the truck worked on and for me to get some final practice in before my test. On April 17th I passed my CDL B driving test. (pretrip/yard work/road test) and got my licence.

We went back on the road and have been driving all over the place as a team. I still have lots to learn but each day I am getting better. It is looking like we will be on the road about 3 weeks running hard and then home for a week. Right now we are on home time. I am trying to get things done when home. In the past 2 weeks we have been to FL, GA, PA, CT, NY, MI, TX, OK, and AZ to name a few of the states we have had pick ups or deliveries. I know I am missing some. Everything seems to blur. I have gotten some pictures but not many. Eventually we will be able to take some time and see things but right now just enjoying the driving and seeing the country thru the windshield.
demariana: (melodiehalf)
got my permit today with air brake endorsement. Woohoo. Was so NERVOUS. I did ok on the general knowledge test, and rocked the air brakes test. The system ends the test when you get to passing (80%) so on the air brakes it is 25 questions. When I finished question 20 it said I passed. (IE I got all 20 right and was at 80% so why go on???) I went back up to the desk and the admin looked at her screen and was in awe. Not only did I get the 20 questions right I did it in 2 minutes 30 sections. Woohoo!!!!

Ren has the truck and he has already started running with the company. He had orientation yesterday and today had the truck worked on. It needed some things done. He got his first load about 2 hrs ago and headed out.

I went down to the mall today to talk to the kynect people. I got my questions answered. Slightly annoyed that my doctor really does not take the insurance I want to buy. I still have alittle time to decide.

I am still trying to decide on when to do my 2 weeks. It will be between 2/27 and 3/6. Just so not sure.
demariana: (melodiehalf)
We are moving along very quickly now. I have my medical card and going to take the permit test on Tues. Drove Ren up yesterday to meet with the truck owner and left him in upper OH. He is now in the truck and going to run for a couple of weeks w/o me. I need to get some medical things done before I lose work insurance and give my 2 weeks. Date was going to be March 6th but now looking at Feb 27th. Have to make sure I pass the permit test Tues. Owner of the truck we are going to be running is an interesting man. Very nice. Why yes I am a nervous wreck. *grins* This is going to be fun/exciting/scary/hard work.
demariana: (melodiehalf)
Things are moving along on the road to getting on the road!

Today I went and spent $75 to get my medical card. I got a 1 year because I am on medication for high blood pressure. Came home with card and forms in hand and scanned them to send them to Frankfort. Now wait and see.
demariana: (melodiehalf)
Well we had a family meeting and family wanted me to write out and answer some questions about my plans to getting my CDL and going on the road. Below is what I wrote. I would love any input/questions/ideas. I will be doing an update to the family every 2 weeks.

Goals for Becoming a Truck Driver
To be updated every 2 weeks on the Friday after a payday. (Dec 5th, Dec 19th, Jan 2nd, Jan 16th etc)

What requirements to get to being a team driver and timeline?

Medical Card, and submit to KY DOT. Can pass this now with medications that I am on. Will have to get before getting permit. If I plan to also go for HAZMAT need to do to TSA and get fingerprinted.

Get a permit. Cant do that to closer to when going to jump. Plan is to get in mid February. Per talking to Patricia at V3 she has owners who will let a permit driver w/ team mate run a 14 hour day. Once we have driven about a month with me doing most of the driving on my permit then come home and test to get my CDL class B. This saves the cost of schooling since not getting a CDL A.

Talk to Patricia at V3 more and submit application. Late March.

Now post on forums to ask questions about trucking/expediting and expectations. May look on V3's FB page and message a driver or 2.

What physical requirements needed to achieve and timeline?

In November go to Mall and talk to health insurance to see if can sign up when I quit Galls. Check out costs.

I want to be under 300 by March 1st. Personally I would like to be at under 290. That means 25 lbs in the next 14 weeks to be at 290. At this point with the modification in my eating and the 1-2 times at the Y I am down 10lbs. Plan is to continue with the eating plan. (food diary, fast food mostly cut out, eat out only 2-3 x a week) and to increase the Y to be 3-4 times a week. Water Aerobics/Treadmill/TRX Classes.

In late March get my knee shots. Make sure I have about a 3 month supply of medications. It does help that most of what I am on is on the low cost $4 list for when I may not have insurance. Need to price at different places. (meijer, kroger, walgreens, etc) When the weight loss might even be taken off one of the HBP meds. Also in late March go to Dr Feng for my yearly and physical and bloodwork. Right now I do have a 3 month followup in January.

Other plans:

Saving $50-$100 per paycheck to be able to pay for testing, and to have some saved before Jump.
Having a plan in place if this falls thru. Resume ready. (starting on this now, writing it up, adding to the one I have) Start with office team/account temps to find something temp to hire, or long term. Ask if Galls has anything open. (sales or accounting) Keep track of what is on Careerbuilder.
Call all credit cards and utilities and add who can call and talk about them.
Start wearing seat belt all the time in the car. May have to put the shoulder strap behind head but at least wear waist belt.
demariana: (melodiehalf)
So I am contemplating a career change. Right now I am business to business bill collector/AR specialist. My 2nd boyfriend is a trucker. He has his class A CDL. We have been talking about going out on the road as a team. I am really interested. I would get to see more of the states and just do something completely different.

I have told him that it would late spring/summer of 2015 before I think I would be ready to do this. That I need to get some things done before hand.

Those things are:
Save money. So that when I am in driving school I have the money to live on. School takes about 1 month. He said he would help me pay for school

Get Stronger/Lose Weight. The times I have been on a ride along with him have given me pain in my knees and in general. I need to be I think about 250lb. (right now 325) to even think about doing this. Also at 250 and stronger my BP would be more in line and even my diabetes would be under control with little/no medication. To this end I have rejoined the Y and have been doing.

Talk to doctor about my arthritis in knees and see what can be done to help. I am thinking about the hyaluronic acid injections. To help this I have an appointment scheduled for Nov 12th to discuss options with an orthopedic doctor. This way when I have to pick insurance/contribute to FSA for 2015 I can make sure I have enough.

I have mentioned this family and some friends. The more I mention it the more likely I am to do it. Scariest thing is the thought of failing out of CDL school. (either due to medical, or just cant handle it) Then I would have to find something.

Anyone have any thoughts/ideas/stories?
demariana: (melodiehalf)
Hello LJ my old friend. I have neglected you so. I have been reading all but not posting. I am hoping to change that.

Well I did it. I rejoined the Y today. I have been getting majorly depressed about my ability to move. Knees/Back/feet/etc all hurting and hurting. I had debated about rejoining Planet Fitness or the Y. PF is MUCH cheaper. That was the big thing going for it. Really the only thing going for it. I would go but would get so bored. I have MISSED the pool. The ability to swim laps even how slow I am and the water aerobics classes.

So the front desk guy asked me what my goal is. I said right now just to add movement. To be able to just move. Yes I would like to see the scale change. Yes I want my stamina to increase. I want my walking speed to increase. But right now at this instant I need to start moving again. I can't jump all in and risk really hurting my knee again or something else. I plan to figure out a strength training routine to build back my muscle.

Now they Y has a way to track and earn rewards with mobilefit. I am going to look into getting that started. I will have to schedule a time with a wellness coach. Also cool that my favorite water aerobics instructor is still teaching 2 classes a week.

Today I joined and did 15 minutes on the treadmill. It is the start.
demariana: (mayhem)
He came home today. On Friday 6/6/14 we took him to the vet for the last time. I held him in my arms as the vet administered the meds. He drifted off over the rainbow bridge. We requested cremation with the remains returned. They called and we were able to pick him up today. He is in a very nice box and they did a clay paw print of his paw. A small booklet about coping with the loss of a family pet was included as well as a certificate of cremation. I thought about an Urn but the box is carved and not plain like I thought it was going to be. I got Melodie in Feb of 1997 from the Humane Society I put his B-day as Feb 7th based on my notes. We were told he was a girl kitty and a return. 3rd vet visit later is when we find out we have a boy cat. So his name became Mr Melodie Man because he liked to 'sing'. Damn I miss him. Each day has been alittle bit easier. Came rushing back today though because of getting his ashes.

My baby

Mar. 15th, 2014 08:06 am
demariana: (melodiehalf)
Took my Mr Melodie Man (see icon picture) to the vet again yesterday. This is the 2nd visit to this vet and the 4th visit overall. He has had multiple rounds of antibiotics, eye cream, eye drops, steroids, etc etc. My baby is 18 years old and we are faced with the news that the is probably a mass growing behind his eye and in his nasal sinuses. I could get an x-ray or a CT scan but what would be the point? Other than to know for sure? There is not anything that can be done. I could see where his eye is being pushed and is not even w/ his other eye anymore but so wanted to ignore it. His eye is leaking and sometimes it is red. He won't let me wipe it anymore. At this point he is still eating well (actually putting back on weight and acing like his lovely if annoying at times self, if a bit slower that he use to be. He does not seem in pain except when trying to clean off his eye. The vet shaved him as much as they could since he has mats in his fur. They also gave us steroids and some more antibiotics to hopefully lower the swelling and there probably is an infection.

So now it is the wait and see. The walking the fine line between quality and quantity of life. Of hoping we can recognize when it is time and having the strength and courage to do it.

5 weeks

May. 11th, 2013 11:50 am
demariana: (melodiehalf)
It has been 5 weeks and I am still in NRE. I have seen R every weekend and then some. Sometimes he can get to Lexington during the week and I get to see him at my lunch. Last weekend we went hiking/camping/off road driving. It was fun. I had never done that before. Sunday the rain meant that we just packed up everything and headed back to his place. Got to meet his family.

This weekend I was not sure if he was going to be able to visit. There had been talk of moving to every other weekend because of money and such. I know I am going to go pick him up next weekend. At about 1:30 yesterday he advised that he could come to town. He picked me up at 5pm and we went to dinner and then wandered Meijer's acting like teenagers at times. We can not keep our hands off each other. Home to watch a movie and he spent the night. Left this morning at 8:30. I will get to see him on Tues when he comes in town for an appt and then again on Fri/Sat. *le sigh*

The big thing is that we exchanged the 3 words... I love you. We had danced around them recently by calling each other love, and saying love you. It just had not been the 3 words together. He said it in text and I responded and then we exchanged the words last night in person. My stomach is jumping as I write this. This is exciting, thrilling and a small bit scary.

Oh it also seems my NRE diet and exercise plan is working well. :) I am down about 10 lbs.


Jan. 1st, 2013 02:15 pm
demariana: (melodiehalf)
So I need to go to the Y and cancel my membership. I have not been using it as I should for at least 6 months. I know I want to get healthier in 2013 so you would think that cancelling a gym membership would be counter-productive to that. Well it would be if I did not have another plan already in place. It use to be that the only thing on this side of town was the North Lexington Y for a gym (about 1 mile from my house). The Y is great and there are some things that I will miss like the pool, but at $42/month for individual and about $80/month if all 3 of us wanted to go, that is just getting too steep. Now a planet fitness is opening up about 1.5 miles from the house. It is in a shopping plaza we know well. We went and checked it out on Saturday and signed up. All 3 of us got the basic membership at $10/month. So $30 and all 3 of us can go! The gym will be open 24/7 and has LOTs of machines. There is free wifi and each cardio machine has a TV with cable available. We went through the pros and cons and it just made better sense. I need to really look into what I can do with the weight training machines and the circuit that they have. I hope to be able to go to a free training class or 2 to get some ideas. 

I am going to miss some of the people, classes and the pool from the Y. I am hoping some other friends also join planet fitness along w/ my family. That would make it nicer. One of the good things is that there is no contract so if needed I can cancel and just rejoin the Y. 
demariana: (Default)
I'm running a test to see who's reading my posts. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about your day that starts with the third letter of your LJ USERNAME. Only one word please. Then repost so I can leave a word for you. Don't just post a word and not copy - that's not as much fun!
demariana: (Default)
This post is going to be about female medical issues. Guys you can scroll on by if you want.

On Oct 27th I turned 40 and that is the magic time to get your first mammogram. I went in on Thursday the 17th and had my yearly and then also scheduled my 1st mammogram for sometime in December. While I was at my yearly I mentioned that I was unsure about my IUD and I was still at times having heavy periods. She decided she also wanted to schedule an ultrasound. Since I was already taking a 1/2 day on Friday the 18th I decided to get the ultrasound out of the way at that point.

Come to find out that due to issues at work the building was closed on the 18th and instead of just a 1/2 day I had the whole day off. I was able to reschedule my ultrasound for the morning. Once that was done I asked at the lab if there was a way to squeeze me in for my mammogram as well. Might as well get both out of the way. I was in 'luck' and I got that done as well.

I had a great weekend just hanging out.

On Tuesday I got a letter about the mammogram. "There appears to be an area of concern that requires additional evaluation". Then my brain did the Oh Shit, Oh Shit, Oh Shit!!! Once I calmed down I read the rest of the letter where it says, "Such further evaluation usually turns out normal. It is important, however that you have it done." (it being special imaging views) Of course then I also did web searches to get some more information.

I called on Wednesday and scheduled the 2nd mammogram for Dec 23rd. I am going to be off work that day so I would not have to use time. Caritas also advised me that my doctor's office had called to state they were going to be calling me to schedule a followup. Ok, that seems a bit normal.

Today... the doctor's office called and I called them back. It seems there is some issues with the ultrasound and fibroids. They want to get me in for a MRI. After that we can discuss if your Mirena can stay in till Sept or if we need to take it out now. Maybe also discuss your other options. Brain of course starts to go Oh Shit Fuck, Shit Fuck!!!

Now I have put in for a 1/2 day on Wed the 30th so I can go in for the MRI. I was also able to reschedule the 2nd mammogram so that it can be done before the MRI. (yay?) My mammogram is at 7:30 and the MRI is at 9:30. This is all contingent on me getting the 1/2 day on Wed. I think my team lead will be ok with it. Then I get to go in at 1pm to work the rest of the day.

So that has been my medical week.
demariana: (Default)
I have Google + invites if anyone needs them.
demariana: (Default)
Finally a day without rain! The sun is great and the temperature is beautiful. I love the light wind. I passed so many yard sales today on my morning errands. So far today I have been busy. I started off by going to the Y and recording the time in April that I exercised. I joined the 100 hour club. I have 9 months to get to 100 hours, so about 11 hours a month. I recorded all of April and figured out I have done about 13 hours of exercise in 30 days. Woohoo! Next stop was the vet and I got some special cat food. Strife still has a UTI. So not good. Once that was done it was on to the Beaumont Y for Tai Chi. A fun and challenging hour. We learned some more moves and did breathing exercises. I swear one kid is in the class because the teacher told him to come. He does martial arts, but he finds it hard to stay still. He so needs the calm. After Tai Chi I stopped by my moms to pick up her expired/unused meds. There was a med toss today at various locations around town. I took her bag and our 2 bags and stopped at the one in Gardenside. It was quick and easy!

This week has been a really good week even with the rain. I tried Pilates on Wednesday. My weigh in on Friday had another 2 lb loss. I tried to sell some clothing at a local consignment shop and that was 'interesting'. I will probably not go back. I know I have been neglecting LJ, but I have been posting on my blog: *grins*

The other thing I did was I signed up for the Step OUT: Walk to Stop Diabetes. It is a fun walk on June 4th at Keeneland. I am looking to raise $150 and my page is:

Now time to head out to Kroger's

demariana: (Default)
I have been consistently posting it seems to my blog. It at times is easier to post there than here. Even though the interface is about the same I am quicker when posting to my blog. Now I can just copy and paste and that is what I did for my most recent post below. I love that my numbers have gone down and that they are in the normal range now!

BY the numbers:

I am a numbers kind of girl. I love messing with numbers and seeing what can be done. When I started keeping track of my blood sugar and blood pressure consistently I set up an excel spreadsheet to track and average my numbers.

 Now today in the mail I got my blood work results from my doctor's appointment. I also found my results from my January 13th appointment.

Both times my A1c, ALT and AST were measured. The ALT and AST are liver enzyme tests.

Test      Range       1/13/11       4/13/11
A1c      4.2-5.8        7.4                  5.7
ALT       0-35           90                 29
AST       0-32           98                24

WooHoo!! All abnormal readings are now in the normal range!

 They are on still on the high side of normal, but I will take it! All my numbers seem to be going in the right direction.
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