Purrfectly Pleasant Unless Provoked

updates or lack there of

2026-05-01T00:23:11Z

I have not heard back yet about a 2nd interview. The status on their site for the application still says interview phase so I am still hopefully. I am annoyed that I did not email and thank them for the phone interview etc. Now I feel it is too late to do that. I may ask for an update, but dont want to be pushy. No clue how this works anymore.

The use of MJ has been tested. It does help at night with sleep and pain but the cost to continue is way too much even with the new products. I started out with 5mg and then bumped it up till I got to a dose that helps. The dose is 20-30mgs. Or 2-3 gummies. There are 10 gummies to a bag and they cost $35. Yeah, $35 to get maybe 5 days? Oh well. The other thing is I do like the feeling it is giving me so dont want to have that become an issue. Now if the bags come down to about $10 or are more in a bag for $35 it will be worth it. Now I will just wait to see what the neurologist says on the 12th. I hope we can see about surgery.

Work is work. I am getting things done and money collected. Same s*** different day. We have a new hire so that gives me a change of things. I do also have some training ideas. Oh also finally had our raises kick in. Just enough to cover the insurance increase basically.

My roommates are working on redoing the bathroom. We got a home improvement loan and that is paying for it and some other things. They are doing a great job. Willing to take the time for it since it saves so much money. Now our living room is the staging area and right now it has a bunch of drywall, the tub, surround, etc. and a bunch of supplies.

The bathroom does have a working toilet. We only have 1 bathroom so that was a must get in quickly. I have been going to Planet Fitness for showers and also washing my hair in the sink at times. It works.

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Medical and life stuff

2026-04-15T22:17:49Z

So my state just legalized medical MJ. I have never really done any. I do not like putting things into my lungs so never got into it since finding other ways was much harder. I did want to try and I have qualifying conditions so I decided why not? They have gummies. No smell, no mess and hopefully it will help some things. I got my card and have been taking it slow. Today when I went to pick up some meds at my pharmacy I asked if they needed to know I have a medical card and using on occasion? I do want it on my file so that if it will interact with any of my meds I can know. Still being an adult and proactive and shit. :)

Yesterday In had my follow up with my pain specialist. I got to basically say sorry the steroid shot did not help. We shall see what the neurologist recommends when I have my follow up with him.

I also got a x-ray yesterday for the followup with my urologist I had today. So the pulverizing of the kidney stone was not a success, but it made it better. The stone is broken in 2 and is now sitting in an area of my kidney that it is not going to obstruct urine etc. So we are now in a holding pattern. If it gets worse, ie blood/pain we can try laser, but right now can just do a follow up in 6 months. I did get some meds for overactive bladder since I am getting up 3-4 times a night. Hopefully that will help. yippy another medication.

In good/other news I had a job interview the other day. Waiting now on the callback for a 2nd interview, or a sorry not interested email. We shall see, the problem of course is that do I really want to change insurance 1/2 way into the year? and have all this stuff I need to do? Decisions decisions!

Guess that is about it right now.

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demariana @ 2026-01-27T17:07:00

2026-01-27T22:14:37Z

I want cry
but the tears wont come
I just sit here
feeling so numb
I want to scream
but it sits in my lungs
what is the point?
I am but one
I work each day
but why I ask?
When the world is burning
down around us.

There seems to be more rattling around inside my head. Maybe I will write more when it comes closer and lets itself out. Just right now I have no more words, no coherent thoughts, no help, no pleas, no magic wand to make it all better.

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2025 - the good the bad and the ugly

2026-01-07T02:40:57Z

Here is my recap of 2025. I did post about a bunch of the first of the year stuff in March.

I am going to start with the ugly because there really wasnt any that I can think of. There was ups and downs but nothing really ugly in my personal life. There has been ugly in the world and I have been affected by it, but not much I can do about it.

In January 2025 my mom went in for cancer surgery and had her bladder removed. She is doing really really well. Her 6month scan/follow up did not show anything and her doctor said she does not need to do another scan for a year!!! She is in good spirits and I am really glad she chose to have the surgery. If she had not had it she would have only had about 6-9 months. She handles the stuff she needs to do now really well and she can do it herself. There was a small bump in her recovery at first since she was not eating. Come to find out she had 2-3 ulcers that had to be repaired. It was a bumpy January and February.

In January I had another issue with my skin. Come to find out it has not been scabies at all. I was reacting to something. I went a dermatologist and started on some creams and then had to have skin patch tests done to determine what I was allergic to. I am allergic to Balsam of Peru which is basically in most things with a scent. I am on the dupixent shot every other week and my skin looks much better. I am willing to wear short sleeves again. I have had to change my lotions, shampoo, conditioner, etc etc. I have found some good ones that work well which has made life easier. I do miss nice smelling things, but not enough to be itchy to the point of scratching my arms and other areas raw. I am left with some scarring but that is ok.

In January I also joined a free program through my health insurance to help with changing my eating habits and working on weight loss/exercise/etc. It is called Real Appeal and with it and other changes I made I lost 50lbs in 2025. I have been able to join it again in 2026 to continue my changes. I made a goal to work on myself for 2025. I cut out almost all fast food at the start. I have tried new things to eat and found things I like. I actually am liking yogurt! I also found out I like the monk fruit sweetener. I started making some smoothies and also branched out to try fruit teas from Snarky Tea. trying to drink other things than feeding my diet coke addiction. *grins*

I started going to Yoga, multiple vendor fairs, reading more, trying to hang out with friends. Just doing more things for me. I have been going to the Lexington Salt Cave for a relaxing 45 minutes about once a week. It also has helped my skin and my allergies. Finding things I enjoy. Working on reconnecting to my spiritual beliefs. Like I would LOVE to go see the Monks walking for Peace in the next month before they get to DC. It would just be so....so... special and worthwhile.

Lots was done in the middle of the year. I got to see Heart at Rupp Arena. They were my first concert in 1986. It was wonderful seeing them again. I know they do not have much touring time left. All the bands from my teenage years are getting up in age, or already have passed. Watched roller derby for the first time. I helped the gaming area at Scarefest. Saw a couple of movies. I have been watching movies a bunch less in recent years. I cancelled my unlimited for Regal. Went to the Water Lantern Festival. That was so relaxing and lovely. I hope to do it again in 2026.

Now to the last quarter of 2025. In October I thought I had a UTI and got treated. Based on what happened in Dec I do not think it was that. I also started having right leg pain that would come and go. Nothing horrible in October. I could stretch and walk some and it would help. Then November hit. I was at a convention in Ohio on the first weekend of November and after 1 game I could barely walk. My right leg from the butt down to the ankle was HURTING. I got a lyft back to the hotel and my SO stayed gaming. I just laid on the bed and mostly cried. It was so bad. The next morning (sat) he went out to the store and got me a heating pad. 2 hours later it still was not helping and I was doing all I could. So we made a visit to the ER that was right by the hotel. Sciatica for the win. I got meds and went back to the hotel. J went to the con and I just watched TV and tried to relax. Sunday instead of going back to the con we checked out and drove home. Meds helped and I was feeling better the next week. I did see my Primary Care and also started physical therapy. 2 weeks later had to do a Urgent Care visit since it flared again. Got more steroids, increased the muscle relaxer, and more Ibuprofen. OK. did the PT exercises, took the meds as scheduled. Did all I could. Nope was not enough. On Thanksgiving I ended up back at an ER. This time they did a CT scan and got more meds. They did find issues with my L4/L5 spine. Advised to see a Neurosurgeon and continue with the PT. Oh and the CT also shows a kidney stone. But they did not actually tell me about that I read the paperwork later.

Scheduled the Neuro visit. Did some movement tests with the NP, got some X-rays done and then they said they would schedule a MRI. X-rays also showed an 11mm kidney stone and they recommended seeing a urologist. Yippy! My primary care did a referral but the Urologist with their medical practice was booking out till March. Luckily I was able to get in 12/23 with the same group my mom went to for her bladder issues. Urology visit went well and the doctor basically said it is 12mmX8mm and will not pass!

So basically I had a 2 for 1 pain special on my right side. Kidney Stone and Sciatica/spine issues.

At least all of this was paid for since I was already at out of pocket max for my insurance. Heck in 2026 since I had the kidney stone outpatient surgery on 1/2 I am almost already at out of pocket max for 2026.

Overall 2025 was more good than bad and I am happy.

For 2026 I want to plan a big shindig for my 55th birthday. I want to shop local more and be more spiritual, spontaneous and get out of my comfort zone. I plan to take more pictures of myself. Be Kind. Listen more. Cultivate my health, wellness, friendships, peace, love and happiness.

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2026

2026-01-04T22:47:55Z

This year I plan to laugh more. Take more pictures of myself. Listen. Be Kind, Leave my comfort zone.

I am also starting back up with my daily food log and my weekly habit diary. I am old school and have books I write in. I was doing this last year and followed through most days up until about the end of October. That is when I started having the Sciatica and Kidney stone issues. I did not beat myself up when I had a tough day or couple of days in 2025. I just went each day is a new day. Last year something clicked in my brain and this year I plan to build on it and grow stronger each day. I am hoping I can sign up again for the free online group that my insurance pays for. I loved the once a week meeting and information it gives each week. Also having access to fitness on demand for free was not bad. :) I want to get back to going to yoga. I am hoping by February.

The daily habits I have are to take my blood sugar and pressure, turn on my salt lamp, no fast food, eat at least a serving of fruits and veggies, 24 oz of water, food diary, brush my teeth/wash my face, and meditate.

Tonight I made a low carb tortilla with 2 scrambled eggs, some ham lunch meat and cheese all melted together,. Also had some everything bagel seasoning. SO YUMMY! I am wondering about finding and trying a new recipe a week. Sometimes just need something new to eat. Everything gets so the same. Especially if you eat a bunch of fast food. I am glad that I do not eat it that much anymore. It means I have more money for other things.

I also am going to try and order less from Amazon and shop more local. Or at least more brick and mortar stores. Try to shop at more places that align with my values.

Another goal is to have a lovely party for my 55th birthday. I will probably have 2 get togethers. One for family and some friends. Then there is the one I want with my girlfriends. To have meditations, tarot cards, simple food and conversations. Maybe a head/neck massage area. I am still thinking about it. Slowly finding out ideas. I have till October.

I had a class on 1/1 to bring in the new year. I made a vision board. I have put it up right by my desk where I can see it every day. It soothes me.

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Outpatient Kidney Stone surgery recap

2026-01-03T01:18:37Z

I really wish more people knew and used dreamwidth. I was reading the info talking about the start of the site and how they actively litigate against laws that are requiring the names/ages and verifications. I so wish more would come here instead of FB and other places. I so prefer writing here and would love to get more comments. So many left when LJ got taken over by Russians and did not follow over to here in any large way. Well at least the people who I follow on FB. Just easier to write journal entries here.

OK, now on to the reason for my post.

Back at the beginning of November I was at a convention in Dayton Ohio. I was having pain at about an 8-9 on the pain scale and had to go to the ER on Saturday. I really only got to play 1 game at the con, then spent the rest of the time in the hotel room. They diagnosed it as Sciatica Pain and gave me meds and had me on my way. Maybe if they had done a CT or x-ray they might have seen I was getting a 2 for 1 pain special with the addition of a kidney stone.

I went to my primary care, got a PT referral and was on my way. Also more meds. I was starting to wonder why I was getting pain in my front lower abdomen but well... doctors know best.. HAH! so started my PT, took my meds and things were getting better... then worse, then really really bad. On Thanksgiving day I was back to an ER. This time they took a cat scan and told me to follow up with a neurosurgeon.. No mention of the findings of a kidney stone. Maybe if they had mentioned it I would have been able to get this surgery in 2025 instead of on Jan 2 2026 when my deductible resets. Oh well.

Scheduled the neurosurgeon appointment. In that one they did all the things and ordered an X-ray for that day and to schedule a MRI. Xray came back with the you might want to get this about 11mm kidney stone looked at.. WHAT??? first I have heard of that,. DAMN. So onto getting a Urology referral since this would not pass on it's own. Then started to wait, realizing there was 2 types of pain going on. At least Ibuprofen helped both. Unfortunately since the place I go to see my primary care is associated with the medical school their urologists did not have an opening until March... Oh hell no. Actually before they called to set up something I had called to the clinic my mom went to in 2025 and was able to get an appointment for 12/23. When the referral Urologist clinic called on 12/22 I was able to say unless they had something for the very next day I am going to another group. They did understand.

The appointment on 12/23 was quick and easy. He said he measured the stone from the ER cat scan and it is 12mmX8mm and would not pass without help. We were able to schedule the breakup of the stone for 1/2. And that brings us to today.

I had to be in to register at 12pm. Got vitals, IV set up, etc etc and then the Anesthesiologist and my doctor visited and off we went! I saw the clock in the operating room and it was about 2:55. Next time I saw a clock was in recovery showing about 4:05. I of course faded in and out and about 4:35 I was pretty much well on my way to being awake. I was able to be sprung and on our way at 5:08. Time to let everyone know I was on the way home, family, friends, loved ones etc. Jeff was great as my driver and important person. We got my meds and some fast food and I have been home since about 6pm.

I am doing good. On some good meds so wont know about pain for a bit. I have a stent I can remove on day 5 or go into the office to have the nurse remove it. Have some after care I need to do and my follow up in 1/19. I will be taking it one day at a time. Overall the nurses and hospital staff were great! The instructions that I came home with are very detailed and parts are highlighted. Now that this is done I can start working on resolving the Sciatica and getting back to 100%. This has not rerailed my health path just gave it a slight pause to regroup.

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Status of Demariana - the good, the bad, the ugly

2025-03-16T04:02:27Z

2025 started off with a bang (not in a good way) and has not slowed down.

My mom was diagnosed with bladder cancer at the end of 2024 and she had surgery on January 2nd to have her bladder and her uterus removed. The surgeries went well and no cancer was found outside the bladder that they could detect. So that is the good news. She had to go back into the hospital twice since her surgery due to not eating and having electrolyte imbalance and other things. She kept feeling nauseous and not able to eat. It was bad. On the 2nd admission they found out she was losing blood and did a scope which found 2 ulcers that they were able to band. Since then things have been going much better. She is eating and moving more. She is still having some electrolyte issues, but I do think they are getting better. She is slowly learning how to change her stoma bag. She does have home health coming in for 3 things, a nurse, a physical therapist and an occupational therapist. I got her an under the desk elliptical and she has been doing it. The hardest thing is not having time available to take her to her appointments. She does have to go see an oncologist just in case. Preventive and being cautious. Most of her original appointments have had to be rescheduled due to the hospital stays. At least my manager has been very understanding. I think I have only worked maybe 1 or 2 full weeks since the start of the year.

For me I have also had multiple doctor and dentist visits. I had a tooth pulled in January (back molar) and had 2 follow ups for it. I went to the UTC twice due to major itching and sores. I thought it might be scabies again and the first time they treated me for that but it did not get better. The 2nd time they recommended that I go see a dermatologist and gave me antibiotics and steroids. It did help some but still was so hard. So much ITCHING!!! It has been horrible. I did get to see a dermatologist and they took 2 biopsies and I have a diagnosis! - Granuloma annulare. They gave me a stronger topical antibiotic and also a topical steroid cream and they have helped SO MUCH! Now we are trying to get a shot I would have to give myself every 2 weeks which is called Dupixent. Just waiting on insurance of course. *GAG*

In good news I have started eating healthier and working on myself. I joined a free year long program for weight loss/exercise that my insurance provides. The place is called Real Appeal/Rally. It has been going well. The program also gives me free access to fitness on demand which has so many videos. I am slowly starting to use those. I am keeping a food diary and a habits log. I also bought a fit ring called Ultrahuman since I cant wear watches so a fit bit and things like that will not work for me. The ring has been really nice and helps me to see how I am sleeping as well as other things. I have been mostly trying to follow the 80/20 rule and not get too fixated or stressed about things. I have lost weight and it was really cool to see a 2 as the first number on the scale instead of a 3. I am moving easier and my knees are not hurting as much.

I got my performance review in December and got a raise, but my employer decided to not enact the raises until the first check in April. It will be so nice when that kicks in. I have been able to save money though since with my habit diary/log I have no fast food and no google play as a daily habit and most days I have stuck with it. This has given me money for other things and I have been able to pay off 2 credit cards and also buy some things that I have needed. I have also had to purchase a bunch of things for my mom to make her life easier. Of course I do want to practice retail therapy.

That is about it. I know there is more but need to get to bed. Just not sleepy right now.

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Well an update

2024-11-19T21:31:24Z

My mom had a procedure on Friday where they found a lesion in her bladder. Yeah, waiting on the results. She has been dealing with a catheter and will be taking her to get that out on Thursday.

Yesterday my company 'restructured' and 'downsized' to make the quarterly call better it seems. Since we all know the quickest way to make money look good is to drastically cut payroll. Yeah 50 people or so in my building alone. Made no sense other than last hired, first fired.

And today my back upper right molar broke. The tooth under the crown rotted. At least I was able to get in tomorrow at 10am. Some pain but not as much as it could be since this tooth has already had a root canal. At least I did not swallow the pieces.

So I am tired, depressed, sad, annoyed and worried. I may be taking advantage of my works EAP program.

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Student Loan

2024-04-25T00:24:01Z

So a FB 'friend' posted a meme/picture about student loans being forgiven, etc. It said,

Imagine the generation of $1000 Iphones, $500 concert tickets and $9 coffees can't pay their student debt.

Wonder if anyone will say anything since my response was: Yet I don't buy an iphone, or go to concerts, or drink $9 coffee. And my student loan debt due to interest and predatory practices was almost 5X the amount of the original loans even with paying on it. I had probably paid off the original amount already and still owed almost 5X the original amount. So yeah very glad my student loan was wiped clean.

Well the poster's response:

Well then my mortgage should be wiped clean.

My response: My mortgage does not compound interest and add it every year. The loan was explained fully when I got it and spelled out. When it was sold the only thing that changed was who I was paying. I could refinance if interest rates got better. Also it can be in a bankruptcy if needed to have it wiped clean.

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Funeral

2024-04-21T15:04:10Z

I went to a funeral yesterday for my roommate's nephew. It was an experience I have not had before, I did not think I would need earplugs at a funeral. As L said some of her family is Charismatic Christian and this is what it can be like. It is a praise to God more than a memorial/somber reflection on the deceased. I am happy this is what works for them. It is not for me. I was there to support my friend and her family. I knew her nephew from family dinners and just wish I had gotten to know him better. Come to find out he was known on twitter and with the local sports family. Sad to hear/learn so much after someone is gone.

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Can't catch a break

2024-04-12T22:29:18Z

Ever since the first of the year it has been one thing after another. There has been some good spots but can't seem to catch a break. I have been to 2 board game conventions and had a blast. We got 2 cats from the humane society and they are so cute! My promotion is going well.

But to the other things:

Got scabies from the hotel at the convention in January.
Allergies kicked my butt and I was coughing and lost my voice.
Car has a light coming on and when they ran the codes it is computer related. Kia can't see me till May 14th
Friends have had deaths in the family and fur babies
And now I have a toothache that is making it so I want to puke. Nothing is really touching it.
I have tried ice, warm salt water gargle, Advil, Tylenol, and an oral pain gel. Nothing helps for very long. the whole left side of my face is in pain. I have some swelling. I am going to have to give in and find an emergency dentist. Yeah more money.

So that is everything in a nutshell. Going to go lay down and try to ignore the pain.

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And the hits keep coming

2024-03-10T21:01:09Z

Well I am clear of scabies so that is good. My dentist appointment got cancelled due to them and I need to reschedule. I still have sores and since I pick when they are healing I will probably have a bunch of scars. So hard to not scratch. At least I know it is because of healing and not anything else. We have hot water and the stack and all drain lines have been done. That took 2 days so we were without toilet/water/etc for overnight. Bucket and trash bag for the win. The plumbers were great and very funny at times. Also professional.

Mom is not going to move in with my brother and sister in law. She has a place she would like to move into, but right now they are full up. Who knows what will happen.

So in the big news. Work is forcing us back into the office 3 days a week every week starting in June. Joy. So now need to budget more money for transportation and food. Also more time lost during the day. about 2.5 hours or so. Having to get up early, transportation, and the lunch time where I can't work on the house. I so want to discuss working like 8-4:30 with only a 30 min lunch, or something to help mitigate this.

So I am depressed. My leg is doing ok, but not healed. It is better, but I should go back. Not sure how the ozempic is doing. My blood sugar still seems high at times. I think I honestly prefer trulicity. I have an appointment this month so we can see.

There was other things I had thought about writing about, but they have gone from my head.

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I am so done with this year

2024-02-13T01:39:05Z

So far we have had the freezer go out, the water heater go out, I have scabies and it is driving me up a wall, my roommate had to put his cat to sleep, my mom's rent is increasing so she is going to moving in with my brother, and there are more things but that is just off the top of my head in like the past 2-3 weeks.

The treatment is not working for my scabies and I am suppose to go into work this week for my rotation. I do not want to take this into my job and I do not think they want me to go in either. The thing is though I have to use my sick time then. I could work from home since I am not 'sick', just very itchy and contagious. I did talk to my manager who talked to HR and if I get a note from the doctor that states I can handle working from home with this it will be ok. She told me not to stress. So tomorrow I am calling in for the first half of the day and going back to the doctor for more meds and a note. Of course this is all dependent on if we do not get the 3-4 inches of snow that is being mentioned for tonight not coming down. Right now it is raining and I just hope it stays that way.

I probably should grab a pair of mittens or something to sleep in. Roommate suggested socks! That would work.

I was going to go over to my mom's place tonight to get a hot shower, but so did not want to have a chance of her getting this. So I told a very cold shower at home. At times it felt good on certain areas of my body. Washing my hair hurt though.

In good news we got a check for the escrow overage so that will help with this month. We got approved for the financing for the water heater and plumbing work needed to be done. The wound on my leg (separate from the scabies) is starting to heal now that I have antibiotics. Noone else in the house has gotten scabies. I am trying to think positive, but it is hard with all the itching. It does not help that I have always picked and there are so many areas right now.

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Parents

2024-02-10T15:31:57Z

I posted on FB about having scabies and my dad decided to message me on chat to give me some fatherly advise. He linked to some ways to help get rid of them etc. Then he went on about how since it is considered a STD that I did not want to post about that on FB because coworkers might get the wrong idea. Or as he said they will get the wrong impression of you. I almost wanted to respond that based on my age (52) that many if they thought that were going Go Granny. :) Not that I have kids or grandkids, but you get the idea. I just did not respond. I mean he barely parented when I was living at home, what makes him think he can start now. Is what it is.

My mom on the other hand was like are you ok, do you need anything? how are things? *HUGS* that was it.

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Continuing Medication Saga

2024-02-03T02:57:20Z

When we last left off I was itching and itching and itching which was on Tuesday. Wednesday I took my Trulicity shot and the itching got even worse. Bingo we have a winner it seems I am now allergic to Trulicity or one of the additives. UGH! If it is not one thing it is another. Benadryl was barely touching it. I called the doctor and the nurse line and got some ideas of what I could take. I upped the ante by getting Allegra Hives. They said if it feels really bad over the weekend then I could go get like a cortisone shot, but they wanted that as a last resort since it would raise my blood sugar. The itching comes and goes now. Allegra is suppose to be 24 hours, but it does not last that long with me. Of course they told me to stop taking the Trulicity and now I get to try Ozempic. They said to wait on it though till I feel like the allergic reaction has stopped. It might take a bit since it is a once a week shot.

At least I was able to get the Ozempic via the Univ of Ky pharmacy with medication help and only pay $10. If it goes through on my insurance at the 'full' amount I will probably have met my deductible for the year. This means I can look into getting some other things I need done this year.

Seems to be one step forward and the 2 steps back. At least my new position is going well.

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2 posts in one day

2024-01-31T01:52:23Z

Forgot to mention this in my earlier post.

Yesterday I was driving home about 8pm and went up one street by my house. A coworker's MIL lives on this street and I knew she was in end stage in home hospice for cancer. As I was driving by I saw a station wagon with the flashers on and 2 guys taking a gurney inside. Yeah not good. I got home and saw my friend was on FB messenger so I just said hello. *HUGS*. She messaged back did you see? and then I got her phone # and called her. We talked for alittle bit. Not much I could do for her or her husband. I did ask if she wanted me to do anything for work, etc.

Then about midnight my brother messages me that he took Dad to the ER at the VA. I called in the morning and the nurse said he got to a room about 7am and is doing ok, but his oxygen levels are still low. They are keeping him tonight as well and doing more tests tomorrow. At least my mom is doing ok.

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Who needs a subject?

2024-01-30T21:42:55Z

I left work early today because of my head and not able to string 2 words together. So far I have used 16 hours of my 40 hours of sick time. I routinely use it up by March/April. I try to save it, but it does not happen. I laid down and slept for about 3 hours. Doing a bit better, but not 100% now. I will be getting some food into me soon.

Lately I have been itching all over (back, arms, legs etc). I need to be careful and trim my nails since I am scratching so hard I am breaking my skin. I am wondering if it is an allergic reaction. I have been taking about 25mg of Benadryl every 4-6 hours and it seems to be helping. I checked out Trulicity and that is one of the side effects or reactions. That will be the bitch if it is what is causing it. I am going to try and wait till my doctor's appt and go from there.

Speaking of Trulicity I was able to get it for $25 last time due to using a prescription help plan at the medical center. What is interesting is that when I checked my insurance they have my deductible as reflecting the full price and already at $1000 used on my deductible. Yeah! I am hoping I can get it again next month at UK and have it happen again. That would be great!

Guess that is about it for now. Still trying to get back into reading some but not finding things to read.

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Prescription Fun

2024-01-25T02:02:36Z

So the Trulicity Saga continues.

It is a new year and new deductible so I knew my Trulicity would be expensive (about $800) this month and budgeted for it. Had everything in place. Then Sunday came along and I went to the CVS website to refill the medication. They said it was delayed and I can call in 2 business days if I have not heard from them. On Monday I tried to refill again and it let me try but then it was cancelled. Tuesday the same thing. Wednesday is when I take this medication each week. Today I called CVS and found out their warehouse is out and no idea when it will be in and that is why the refill keeps getting canceled. Well nice of them to call/msg or something to let me know. I call my doctor's office and say can you check to see of Univ of Ky has the meds (that is where I go to my doctor's) Yes they did, but not at my office, but at the main hospital. OK send in there! My sister in law works at the hospital and when I called her she said she would be willing to pick it up for me since it can be a bitch to get in and out of the area where the pharmacy is. I would let her know when it was ready since they told me to wait 1 hour and call. I call over and speak to this lovely guy who was like yes we have it here in the fridge for you. I was like how much... dreading the answer, even though I knew last year that I qualified for their prescription help, but my insurance was being dicks about it. He was like $25.... HOT DAMN! So I paid for it over the phone, texted my SIL and she went and got it. All is good for another month!

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How my brain works

2024-01-22T00:21:53Z

I official start my new position tomorrow and I am feeling like a fraud. I know once I get into the groove and learn what I am responsible for I will be ok, but right now I am like what the hell was my manager thinking???? I am not as good as she and others think. I am just a slacker who plays on my phone as I work from home doing the bare minimum. I hate feeling like this. I know it will get better. I just need to push thru.

I bought a bundle of health books from humble bundle. out of the like 22 books there were 3 that caught my interest and when I researched I found out buying them as stand-alone would be more than what the bundle cost. Now to see if I will actually use them. I am also thinking about getting the Terry Pratchett bundle of books.

I really need to find a hobby I think. This staring at FB and other websites when I am not at work is not healthy. I waste so much time. So much I 'should' be doing, and just can't seem to get motivated. Today I did get my bed made, (after a week of the sheet and pad being washed) At least I had tossed on a top sheet so for the past week I was not just sleeping on the mattress. I also hung up my clean clothes and put away the clean towels. That was about it. There is this one corner of my room that I really need to organize, but no clue where to put the stuff there. I also have some stuff I need to pack up to mail out to someone. No idea how much it will cost or how it will be. Probably should get rid of my school books and such. I do not think I need them anymore. It would free up a shelf on my bookcase.

I think I am having sciatic pain. Very painful and annoying. It was really bad on Friday and then felt better. Today it acted up when I stood up and turned too suddenly it seems. I so wanted to just drop to the ground as the back seized and twitched. I have been trying to stretch some and put some ice on it. That has helped. I would have to see the doctor to get some muscle relaxers,

In good news I had a blast last weekend at the convention. I leveled my pathfinder character as well as played a bunch of board games. Got to see a bunch of people I have not seen in a long time and just relaxed. It was a very long weekend and was glad I had Monday off to recover. It is a long time till the next one in April.

Guess that is about it for now. Have a great night!

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2023 in review

2024-01-07T18:10:46Z

Well I just did an audit of my spending in 2023 and I need to cut back on the Google Play items. I can also cut back on eating out. I am trying to organize better this year to keep a better track of what I am spending and where. I do not have any new years resolutions but if I did this would be one. For 2023 my categories when I did the audit was deposits, household bills, credit cards, google play, restaurants, and other. I am adding a column for 2024 on my spreadsheet to use these and some other categories so it will be easier to audit during the year. I plan on reviewing each month.

I cancelled my amazon prime and joined on my common law hubby's as family. I also need to stop doing instant gratification ordering. I have some big bills coming up and no money for it. Like my medications. Since it is a new year it is new deductible. At least if I am able to work it out I should have my deductible done by March. Then it will get better. Just hard for the beginning of the year. If I can get my taxes done in time I should be ok. I can get this worked out.

I am still feeling depressed and despondent at times, but it is getting better. Just nothing much fun it feels. I am going to a convention next weekend and looking forward to that. I have games scheduled to play and just have some fun.

I official start my new job on Jan 20th. I have already been added to the work chat for it and other things. It has not been announced yet, so still having to keep quiet.

Guess that is about it for now.

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And in Good News

2023-12-28T01:35:17Z

I GOT THE TEAM LEAD POSITION!!!! It will be official in January and I am so excited!

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Family

2023-12-27T00:23:30Z

I am so done with my dad. He purposely divorced my mom at year 19 so she would not be able to claim any of his military pension. My brother was able to guilt him into giving mom $100 a month for about the past year or so. On 12/24 he called my mom and basically said the check she gets in January will be the last one since he is tightening his belt and she is not family. He does not owe her anything and me and my brother should be taking care of her. That he might match what we give her but if we are not giving anything then he is done. He loses like at least 5 times at much as he gives her every month gambling. Maybe even 10 times as much. I mean he is a gold member and gets free food etc. But he is tightening his belt. He wants to make sure he has stuff to leave when he dies. I am just thinking spend it all you fucker. I really do not care and do not want any of it.

Then on X-mas day he messaged everyone that he was not up for any callers. So I called and talked to him and said ok I will let you know when I drop the gift off at your door. When I got there he was like come on in so I was there for about 20-30 minutes maybe. He smokes and even with his air purifier it was hard in there. I gave him some dunkin donuts coffee and he gave me a tin of shortbread cookies. Whatever.

I sit down and then he starts in about mom and that he is going to stop giving her the $100/month and how she is our responsibility etc etc. I then was like well every week $20 of my check goes directly into her account. His first question after that well does she know??? Who in the fuck would not notice $20 every week being deposited into their bank account? I just blinked and was like of course, I told her I was doing it. Also if I get the new team lead position I will probably increase the amount. Also I drive her to many appointments, and take her out for food at least once a month. The he goes on about how my brother doesn't do anything but like buy paper products. I know my brother can stand up for himself and I will let him do it. I did say it was more than that. My brother has paid for the lawn to be mowed, the oil change and other car things for my mom. When he goes to sam's club he gets her paper products and other things. My brother and sister in law are also trying to figure out how to make it work for our mom to move in with them. When that does happen her money situation will be so much better and he can take that $100/month and shove it where the sun don't shine.

Other than that the rest of the family visits were really nice and relaxing. Mom had us all over and we exchanged gifts. The nieces loved what I got them and mom loved her new clothes. She even said they fit. I am so glad! Clothes are so hard to buy at times. She will need to hem them since she is shrinking.

Jeff and I went out for Chinese food with the roommates and that was alright. Was not as good as it has been in the past. I did enjoy the time with them. Also took my mom some takeout since she did not feel up to going. Jeff and I went and saw Migration on 12/24 which was good. I loved the short before the movie. On 12/23 I was with my other boyfriend and some of his family. I left my gifts for them there and they opened them on 12/25.

All in all it was a nice relaxing 4 days off and dang I hated going back to work today.

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Wednesday

2023-12-20T23:44:19Z

I went into the office today since I had my interview. I think it went well. *fingers and toes crossed* I honestly believe it will be between me and one other person even though like 5-6 applied. My manager said she should have all the interviews done next week on Tuesday and then a decision. Others on the team are hoping I get it as well. They think I would be a good fit.

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The weekend

2023-12-17T03:04:51Z

Last night and today I spent working on my room. I have organized a couple of areas and thinking about moving a couple of pieces around. I have boxed up my Steve Jackson Games promos and posted in the 2 groups I am in that I am wanting to give them away to others who are still doing demos. The program is being moved to be ran by Envoy and I am just no interested in doing demos under that umbrella for Steve Jackson games. Now I will just be going to cons and playing games/having fun. I may run one or 2 games but they will be what I want to play. I have a con in January and one in April I am going to. It should be lots of fun.

Did some holiday shopping. Small things this year, things I think people will like. Since I had to spend the points I earned demoing games I am also giving board/card games as gifts. Just not in the mood. No idea what the plans are for next weekend. Where people are meeting and what is being done.

I have my team lead interview on Wed. I need to review the list of questions that could be asked. I know I am good at what I do, but doubting things. I know of 2 others interviewing and just feel like I am fraud. But then I am also worried I am going to be too cocky. Last time I interviewed for team lead I was told it was basically a toss up between me and the person who got it. That if she had another position open I would have gotten it. So there is that small voice at times going this is a shoe-in. It is not.

Took a bunch of stuff to goodwill this morning. Games, clothes, water bottles, and other things. Felt good to get it out of the house. Just feeling antsy and out of sorts. Love winter, but also right now hating it. Such a bunch of contradictions. Worried about friends and family and myself.

OK in good news my roommate was kind enough to make some quiche for my mom. I will be taking a 1/2 day on Monday to spend time with mom. She has an eye appointment then we will be going to dinner and to see Southern Lights. I hope my niece can go as well.

Guess that is about it for now. I have been working on this post over a hour.

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In good news

2023-12-14T02:14:51Z

I got my review today and got a 3.5% raise which works out to about $0.71/hr. I am now at $21.01/hr. (well will be as of Jan 1) Next week I will be interviewing for a team lead position,. Last time I interviewed my manager said it was between me and the one who got it and it was basically a coin toss. I know 2 of the other people interviewing and they are good so of course it is not a done deal.

I have also put my application in for 2 different places. I have not heard back yet on either. We shall see.

So I am happy about this news, but still in a funk at times.

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