Fade to Black

[demariana]

Sometimes I think there is more to life
and I wonder what is beyond the horizon
I have unrealized hopes and dreams
and vague ideas of what should be.
I wonder about my past
and why it has faded to black
why I cant remember much
and if I even should try
to recapture those lost years.
My past when I do remember
feels like it happened to someone else
I am just a bystander to my memories.
I know my timeline when I count back
I see pictures and know when/where most of the time
but who or how sometimes is blank
most importantly is the what
what was I doing, what was I feeling
that is gone
and I am left with faded pictures
of memories gone to black
How can I picture a future?
how can I plan?
When I dont know where I have been
or what I have been?
How can I know who I am?
When my memories all
just fade to black?