Hard

[demariana]

Still having trouble sleeping and feeling scared. Want to curl up into a ball and have a nice good cry. I know the job loss is for the best but so scared about the future. Will I get stuck in another job? Will I have the will and desire to go back to school? I know I could get a call center job easily. But could I get one that I actually like. There are some. But call center is 'safe'. Want to throw up daily now. Wish I could sleep. Need a release. Trying to plan fun things. Trying to just get out and relax and hang with friends and family. It should help. Feeling clingy and also feeling like being alone. Conflicting in my head and heart. 2nd guessing myself and my new and old friendships. Paranoia strong at times.

This will get better
It will work out
It is for the best
The Goddess is there and guiding

I will get thru this, and become a better person.

Comments

[moonskrye.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry that you are having so much anxiety. i hope that the job ending turns out to be a huge blessing with new opportunities and dream fulfillments rather than the stress that it has been. *hugs*

[demariana.livejournal.com]

That is what I keep trying to tell myself. This is the best thing for me. It gets me out of a job I am very good at, but do not like very much.

[fujerica.livejournal.com]

Feeling clingy and also feeling like being alone.
that's a really hard place to be.. I know.
Once you're absolutely gone from the call center, I think you'll adjust pretty quickly to a sort of freedom you haven't had the chance to enjoy for a long time.
Things will be clearer.
They're already clearing up a little.
It just takes a while to reorient.

[sibylla.livejournal.com]

*gentle hug* You'll make it, honey. If nothing else in the world, you could get a call center job to keep money in the bank while you plot the next steps in your evil plan for world domination. Just don't forget that it's a stepping stone, a means to an end, and not the end itself.

[demariana.livejournal.com]

There is that. The problem is keeping that it is a stepping stone in mind. I get too caught up in the money.