New year new you...

New year old me more like it. I am getting very tired. I am thinking about looking into the EAP (employee assistance program) at work. I may need some chemical help with my feelings. I am am stir crazy at times. Bored and stressed. Eating too much and too little. Nothing is helping that I have done so far. Wish I could just get away. Does not help that my OSO and I are constantly fighting. He is basically the exact opposite of me. It use to be ok. But with Trump, Covid, etc etc the differences are really starting to outweigh the good. We have not seen each other in awhile. I admit earlier I was taking some chances and seeing him. But he has gotten more adamant about not wearing a mask, not taking any precautions and I just can't do that. The owner where he works got it. He did not have any real contact in the week before hand but there was still a chance. Since then we have not seen each other. I have diabetes, and HBP and at times low vitamin D. If I get it there will be issues. Others in my house are worse off. I can't bring it into the house. Today he resorted to calling me names (idiot was one). So I told him I was hanging up. Even though I may think things about him personally I do not say them. That is not effective communication or even fighting. Once it devolves into name calling no reason to continue the discussion. I have realized he has been doing it more lately and it hurts so much. I am resolving to hang up if he calls me a name again. 

Another thing is that my Aunt died last week. She was my dad's twin sister and last living sibling. I am going to take my bereavement day and go see him on Monday. He has requested chicken wings. We will play some cribbage I hope and maybe talk. He is not a big talker. I would like to learn more about my family. I am not close to either side. Sometimes I see things on FB and realize just how alone I am. I barely know family.

OK. done now. I think I am going to go watch a movie with my SO.