Morning

I am up. Barely awake. Throat hurts like it will from now until I can turn off the heat. I am not a morning person. So very tired. Still waiting for an answer. I really dont want to go to work. This paycheck is going to suck. At least I am getting another loan. It will cover the difference. I am hoping the 3 DVDs I ordered get here.

I need to get my butt in gear and do the shit that needs to be done. If I dont mail out the old DVD player soon I wont get the money back for it. I need to mail out some other stuff as well. I wish I could just go back to sleep.

Today

Well, 2 of the DVDs got here. A Knight's Tale and The Mummy Returns. I wonder if R will notice them in the rack. Of course he will probably read this journal entry first. *giggles* D and I went to get Chinese food buffet before he had to be into work. It was very good. I of course took some more surplus. *sighs* I really need to stop that. I get a raise in like 2.5 weeks. Only 20 cents though.

My supervisor liked my idea. We are having our team meeting on thurs, and the company only gave each team enough money to do one thing. So either people are going out to eat, or they are potlucking the food and either going to a movie, bowling etc. JM has decided to feed us. He asked for suggestions on what to do after eating, but really didnt think he would get anything he could use because most people mention things that cost money. I called and suggested that I bring a bunch of my games and we just sit around and play games afterwards. I have enough of them. We have about 40 people in the team, so I figure I will bring 10-15 games (board and card) He has giveaways, so I suggested he could give them to the winners of the games. He said I should just take over the meeting. My first response I bit back. I was going to say, pay me I will. Instead I just was like no thank you. Sometimes I think he doesnt think that good of me. That I am too weird or something.

Another Fucked Up Dream

I had this one on my nap between snoozes on the alarm.

I go hom to find 2 men I dont know lounging in the living room. Somehow I end up heading upstairs with one and we have sex. They have no idea that I live in the house. (maybe they think I am a hooker they ordered?) The guy goes back downstairs and I start to get dressed. I head downstairs in my bra and pants to do something, flirt alittle. I go back upstairs to finish dressing, grabbing a new shirt out of the closet. I look over back into the bedroom and notice that my jewelry boxes are all off the dresser, and opened. I go over to my big cherry jewelry chest, and open it, noticing that my 2 class rings are gone. I believe there are other things missing as well. I throw the shirt on, tying it instead of buttoning it. The guy has left his gun upstairs, so I tuck it into the front waistband of my pants. I saunter downstairs and staddle the guy I had sex with, turning the chair so I am also facing the other guy. I pull out the gun and place it up under the guy's chin saying "I want my jewelry, and I want it now. I also want anything else you 2 stole, or you both are dead" That is where it ended because the snooze went off, and I had to get up.

Buffy

I want the CD of tonight's show. I want I want I want! That is all I am going to say, dont want to spoil it. Just hope if you watch it, you were watching, and not just taping it. Ok, now I am done

Why?

Why do I continue to talk to people that just piss me off? Why do I have to stay in their 'good graces'? I know some of it is because I have seen their evil aimed at others and I really dont want to deal with it aimed at me. I play nice when I really just want to tell them off. I care too much about some people to cause enemies. I know if I snap my family will be behind me, but I really dont want to put them thru it. I need to just be able to let the jibes and one upmanship some of them do just roll off my back. They really arent worth getting upset about. I keep telling myself that. Maybe someday I will believe it. It just gets so old sometimes. I know they say certain things and then do the exact opposite. One puts smiley faces on almost everything s/he writes. Here, let me insult you, but see the smiley, I am just kidding, hahaha. BullShit. Maybe by talking about it in this journal I can finally get over some things. Be able to let the stuff just slide off. Not get so frustrated with them. It isnt worth it.