Stomach Flops

[demariana]

When will it stop? I think this is one reason I stop exercising. I am excited to go and work out, but then my stomach does flip flops. I start to imagine all sorts of stares and looks. My mind startst to make up the commentary made in whispers behind my back.... "see the fat chick, why is she here? does she think it will help? what is she trying to do? she will just fuck up and gain it all back" The lovely thoughts go round and round in my head. "she had a wendy's single today, and now she thinks working out will help, nothing can help her"

I will not give in to these thoughts and I will go to the Y. I have alot of fun swimming with TS and getting to talk some.

Comments

[wawolf.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine people would be that rude at a gym. I thought the whole point of going to a gym was to get in better shape, no matter what "shape" you start from?

Re:

[demariana.livejournal.com]

You are right they arent. It is mostly the cruel teenage high school years coming out in my head when I get like this. Like the guy who made the comment I cant believe how small your feet are, since you are so... big. There were many other cruel comments made when I was in high school.

[caritas-skunk.livejournal.com]

*snugs* just remember if they didn't need to exercise they wouldn't be there either. I wish I could be as consistent with exercise as you are.

Re:

[demariana.livejournal.com]

I dont feel I will be consistent until I am doing regular exercise for at least 3 months in a row. Right now it is a phase. I want it to become routine and normal.

GRRRR

[mama-hogswatch.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm 5'2" and I weigh somewhere around 230-240 lbs. (Actually, I don't know how much I weigh, cause I don't figure scales will help me all that much. They've certainly done nothing to motivate me to keep in shape!)

Am I the most overweight person in my karate class? Oh very yes.

Maybe this is weird, but I think that the fact I have the guts to try, even if I fail, is actually considered by anyone I am working out with a Cool Thing to Do.

Certainly I tend to admire people who have something going against them trying anyway.

Know what? I'm willing to bet that most people obessess about their own bodies too much to even notice yours.

Re: GRRRR

[demariana.livejournal.com]

I know, that is why I am going to refuse to give in to these thoughts. It does help alot to have a friend going with me. The annoying thing is that Caritas and I did get 'comments' from some jerks when we were walking around the block the other day. That made it harder to go out again. But we did it. :)

Re: GRRRR

[mama-hogswatch.livejournal.com]

Good for you.

Sorry about the assholes. That kind of thing sucks.

[rosepurr.livejournal.com]

D,

I suspect that nearly everyone in that gym feels some of the same way you do- even the ones you look at and think have reached their goal. I know I feel the same way when I'm working out. It's hard to get up and go do something that reminds you that you're not happy with your current self- whether it be physical, mental, whatever. I'm here, and willing to support you in your efforts, just like you're supporting me in mine. Let me know what you need.

*Hugs*