Level of Outness

[demariana]

I posted this in the polyamory community, but wanted it here as well.

I am basically out at work. The reason for this is because I am not good at evading when asked a question. I naturally answer in the plural when someone asks me about my boyfriend. I usually respond with They are at home, or Neither one likes sports, etc. It flows out of my mouth before I have a chance to think. Of course when this happens I have to explain what I mean. Yes I have 2 boyfriends, yes they know, yes we live in the same house, etc. I sometimes wish I would think before answering those simple questions. I could alternate between my guys when answering to really confuse them. I think one reason I dont keep things singular is that I feel like I am diminishing or slighting my other boyfriend. I got asked the age of my boyfriend. Which do I choose to answer? Do I say 36 or 21? Decisions. It helps that my job is just a job. I really dont care who knows there.

Comments

[lothie.livejournal.com]

There are some people who know at my job too. Sometimes I feel weird about that but oh well. It'll just get "worse" as time goes on....

[spydielives.livejournal.com]

I think it can be a matter of self-perception - after all, there is nothing wrong with it, so far as *you* are concerned, right? Its simply the way you are living. Other people live with no partners or just one. Some live with one, and dishonestly have others. You live with two, openly and honestly.

If someone gets too nosy, and wants details, you can always ask (with a non-confrontational giggle) if they want to swap details of their day-to-day home life too. Fair is fair.

[sydb42.livejournal.com]

I was out when I worked at the Univ. of Louisville library...but then, that was a pretty liberal environment. When I worked in the Real Estate office, no one knew anything about my private life, other than I was married. But, it was easy for me to hide poly there because I only live with my husband.