(no subject)

[demariana]

What if I told you a story? A story of my life. I wonder if you would believe me, or just push it aside. Would you even really care? or make polite noises as you try to glance at your watch? Would the gossip start once I turned my back? Would the whispering begin?

Why should I tell something of my life? Why should I let you in? Once I do my paranoia steps in. It just messes it all up.

Just random thoughts this dreary morning before work. No specific person or event has caused these thoughts to pour out. So no it is not about YOU.

Comments

[canuckgirl.livejournal.com]

Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and trust that people are your friends. Granted, some people will care more than others, and maybe not the people you WANTED to care, but I think you learn more about people (the good stuff) when you take the risk.

At least, this is what I've found! :)

[demariana.livejournal.com]

It is weird because I dont know where thoses questions/thoughts came from. It was more of my 1/2 awake brain spilling something out. I know some of it is about RL people, but I wasnt able to get it out fully before the faucet stopped. *shrugs* I dont know what I was feeling when I wrote it. Just kinda felt like writing something.

[melanie.livejournal.com]

You should tell what you feel inspired to tell, but not *for* anyone other than yourself. The telling can be therapeutic, a wonderful steam valve...and it can also be a tool for seeing yourself, noticing things about yourself that matter but that get obscured in the every day trivia of life. You will be surprised at who will notice and care - I have been, for sure. And as for paranoiia - well, remember: this has the safety of distance, the buffer of cyber. There is an inevitable separation between the people you meet here and your daily life, unless everyone involved makes a conscious decision otherwise. To me, it feels about as safe as a confessional booth.

Besides, there are various friends filters available, if you have a paid account. Selective disclosure. :-)

[demariana.livejournal.com]

ah, but about 1/2 the people on my friends list I know RL. I knew them before I got a LJ. I would love to meet some of the people I only know thru LJ. Honestly though I wasnt really talking about LJ. It was more about RL and communities I am in RL. Mostly it was jumbled thoughts running thru my head as I was trying to wake up.

[sydb42.livejournal.com]

It's interesting, I was having similar thoughts about LJ this past week and weekend too. More along the lines of "Why do I ever post public entries? That's giving people I don't know a glimpse into my life, and some people I'd rather not have access to my life free entry into what's going on with me". I came up with several reasons. First, my journal being out there and public means more opportunity to meet new people. Just this last week, I got a response from someone telling me that my weight loss on WW was inspiration to start WW themselves, even though they'd basically given up on trying to lose weight. This was a complete stranger who'd managed to find my journal through the whole friend of a friend of a friend search we all do sometimes. That really gave me a boost, and I'm happy that something I wrote gave her a boost too.

Second, the people I don't want to read my journal are going to find out stuff about me anyway...the rumor mill around here gets pretty fierce sometimes. And, if there's nothing out there about me, people will make it up (I know this for a fact from *years* of experience, many of which has nothing to do with my current circle of friends/aquaintences), so might as well put out something that's the truth. If people are going to talk about me, I'd like them to at least get the facts straight. ;)

And, of course, there's a little bit of ego thrown in there. It's an ego boost to get a reply from someone in my journal, because it means someone cared enough not only to read what I wrote, but wanted to write back to share something with me. What? You mean I occasionally write something that inspires people to write back? That's a pretty good feeling right there.

It's also, for me, a freeing "out of the closet" feel to talk "publicly" about things I've been so private about (like my weight loss). I put it out there, take the risk and, you know what? I realized all this fear and hiding was for nothing. Because if people are gossiping about me (or heck, about others, for that matter), I don't know it. And, I like it that way. Talking about my weight loss, for instance, gave me the freedom to look things up in my food companions *out in public* without worrying about what people think. That's something that's never happened before...and I think it was one of the big keys to how successful I was before I got pregnant.

This is not to say that I put *everything* out in the open. Far from it. I do use filters fairly liberally, to share certain things only with people I want to share with. But, the vast majority of things are for public consumption. That way, I still get to meet new people, and feel like I can stop hiding about certain things.

So, those are some of the reasons why I post publicly in LiveJournal. I really think, for me, it's worth the risks.

Relief

[angelpup.livejournal.com]

Well, that's quite a relief!! =]

[lothie.livejournal.com]

I wonder this every time I post something revealing, and I KNOW I'm being talked about. Well, that's the nature of things...