Well.

I was so happy and excited about what we accomplished on Sat with the basement. It still looks good. The problem now is going down and seeing the rest of the basement. It is hard to look at all the mess and wonder how it is going to get cleaned. I think I have a small idea about how Caritas feels when she gets these thoughts. We went down today to just box up some things to be ready to take out on Sat and I just wanted to throw it all away. Half burned candles and candle holders covered in dust, some broken or battered items strewn around. This is what my eyes fixate on when I go down there. I know it will get better and we will do a great job on Sat. I just wish it could go faster. I did throw out a bunch of stuff. I have going through my head though that I could give the candles away to someone who makes things with wax or something. I could do this. It is so wasteful to throw so much away. We had a full herbie on Sat, and we are going to fill it again and more tomorrow night. We have broken things that are going to be set out and it almost physically hurts. I do not want to fill up the landfills with my crap. I wish there was a way to make it work and such. I wonder if the Habitat for Humanity store would like some of the construction stuff we have. I know some of the stuff we put out tomorrow will not make it to the dump truck. Someone will pick it up. I know that after our yard sale stuff will be going to good will and that would be great. I think some of the totes might even go. It is just so hard to visualize how good it will look. I had the vision when we finished on Sat, but now it is gone. I felt so good and now I just hurt inside at times. I do think dragging the stuff outside was great and made it all the easier to deal with. Today down in the basement was just hard because of feeling so overwhelmed. I just have to remind myself of how I felt on Sat, and that it will look great when it is done.