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I wonder if this is what a panic attack feels like. I am still shaking and my heart feels like it is going to come out of my chest. My skin in crawling and I definately do not want to be touched. Hell touching things is making my skin crawl. I dont even think I can touch the cats. White knucked at times on the drive home. This hit about 2.5 hours ago. I had about 2 hours left of work. Suddenly felt paranoid and wondering who was out to get me at my job. What did I do now that could get me fired? Was I going off line too much, or talking about things too much, or just being me too much? I know the trigger was the fact that a higher up knew my operator number off the top of his head when I asked him a question. Damnit why did I draw attention to myself? Now I am going to be looking over my shoulder. STOP SHAKING! Breathing is good, but not in rapid hyperventilating motions. Manic manic manic. Bouncing off the walls. Must stop, must calm down. Hard to type with the shaking. Must calm down, must calm down. Maybe I should eat dinner, but stomach is so in knots. Heart has been pounding on it too much. Must calm down....must calm down. Maybe looking at the dragonstorm cards I got in the mail today.
Jul. 18th, 2002
Random thoughts
Jul. 18th, 2002 08:06 pmStill breathing too fast. Mind going a mile a minute. Newest Paranoid thought is that there is a reason only 1 person has commented on my last post. I know there isnt anything, just running circles in my head. I think part of this started with a dream I had this morning. I had a very vivid dream between snoozes today from 7am-7:09am. The dream was that it was 7:45am and I was running late. I remember looking at the clock in the dream and it was 8:15 (the time I had to leave) and I was still not dressed, I didnt have my lunch ready, and other things were FUCKED up. Yup that was the start of my day, a totally messed up dream.
Ok, dragonstorm cards, out of 450 cards, 42 of the are rare, and 25 of them are cards you can now only by individually. If I had gone to the website and got each one of these individually it would have been $180. That is a great deal. I spent a total of $31 on the auctions. *grins*
Coupons: My grandmother gets some better coupons that I do. *sighs* There were a couple that we got that are better though. I still want to start a coupon trading club at work.
Ok, must still my body again. BREATHE
Ok, dragonstorm cards, out of 450 cards, 42 of the are rare, and 25 of them are cards you can now only by individually. If I had gone to the website and got each one of these individually it would have been $180. That is a great deal. I spent a total of $31 on the auctions. *grins*
Coupons: My grandmother gets some better coupons that I do. *sighs* There were a couple that we got that are better though. I still want to start a coupon trading club at work.
Ok, must still my body again. BREATHE
