How my brain works

[demariana]

 I official start my new position tomorrow and I am feeling like a fraud. I know once I get into the groove and learn what I am responsible for I will be ok, but right now I am like what the hell was my manager thinking???? I am not as good as she and others think. I am just a slacker who plays on my phone as I work from home doing the bare minimum. I hate feeling like this. I know it will get better. I just need to push thru.

I bought a bundle of health books from humble bundle. out of the like 22 books there were 3 that caught my interest and when I researched I found out buying them as stand-alone would be more than what the bundle cost. Now to see if I will actually use them.  I am also thinking about getting the Terry Pratchett bundle of books. 

I really need to find a hobby I think. This staring at FB and other websites when I am not at work is not healthy. I waste so much time. So much I 'should' be doing, and just can't seem to get motivated. Today I did get my bed made, (after a week of the sheet and pad being washed) At least I had tossed on a top sheet so for the past week I was not just sleeping on the mattress. I also hung up my clean clothes and put away the clean towels. That was about it. There is this one corner of my room that I really need to organize, but no clue where to put the stuff there. I also have some stuff I need to pack up to mail out to someone. No idea how much it will cost or how it will be. Probably should get rid of my school books and such. I do not think I need them anymore. It would free up a shelf on my bookcase. 

I think I am having sciatic pain. Very painful and annoying. It was really bad on Friday and then felt better. Today it acted up when I stood up and turned too suddenly it seems. I so wanted to just drop to the ground as the back seized and twitched. I have been trying to stretch some and put some ice on it. That has helped. I would have to see the doctor to get some muscle relaxers, 

In good news I had a blast last weekend at the convention. I leveled my pathfinder character as well as played a bunch of board games. Got to see a bunch of people I have not seen in a long time and just relaxed. It was a very long weekend and was glad I had Monday off to recover. It is a long time till the next one in April.  

Guess that is about it for now. Have a great night! 

Comments

[noelfigart]

I'm with you on the social media thing. I have hobbies, but I do fall into the habit of social media in bad ways. I mean, I feel like writing and blogging -- chatting with people online? That's fine.

But scrolling through feeds designed to shock you or make you afraid or angry to hook you into it? Not so much.

If you see yourself as a slacker and you still got promoted, maybe a better word for yourself is "skilled and efficient."