demariana: (rose)
demariana ([personal profile] demariana) wrote2002-07-14 09:01 am

Sunday Morning

I am up. My wish has not come true about the meijer ad. The kroger ad sucks. Too many people on my coupons want 5cents/coupon. I thought it was about trading, not making money. I am still very tired. Did not sleep well. Hungry and cranky right now. I got dropped by another person. Havent gotten any comments really in days. Just feeling very sad and mostly alone right now. Stuck in the mud. Not even my kitties could cheer me up. Too much mess of my own making.

Oh, I changed my sechedule preference at work to all splits on the weekdays and earliest out on the weekends. Maybe I will start going with a co-worker to the Y again. *shrugs* Whats the point?

I am just so tired right now.

[identity profile] melanie.livejournal.com 2002-07-14 09:32 am (UTC)(link)
poor sweetie. it sounds like you need some cherishing right now. by yourself or others, somehow.

{{{long distance hugs}}}

Re:

[identity profile] demariana.livejournal.com 2002-07-14 09:35 am (UTC)(link)
Just getting a comment from someone has helped, thanks.

[identity profile] jeshua.livejournal.com 2002-07-14 07:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I try to. I know I could do more, though. Its just that a lot of times I don't know if my efforts or attempts to touch or cuddle will be accepted or rejected. And it hurts when she says she doesn't want to be touched, so it just gets easier to let her approach. *mega-sigh* I know I'm being such a prat about this. I need to grow a thicker skin. It just makes me feel unwanted and undesired when she says she doesn't want me to snuggle or lean against her on the couch or something. *sigh/frown*

[identity profile] melanie.livejournal.com 2002-07-15 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
*nods* I've been in that boat with my husband. During his deepest depressions, it's like nails on a chalkboard for anyone to touch him or talk to him. It took years for me to learn to not be hurt by this.

Our thing: when he tells me he needs me to give him space, I do. For his part, he makes sure to *specifically let me know* when that feeling has passed for him by initiating touching/cuddling himself. So it's easier for me to be able to give him space because I know it's not a personal rebuff *plus* I can feel secure in the knowledge that he's going to be coming to me and letting me know when the hiatus is done.

It works well. I just wish it handn't taken years to hash it out.

[identity profile] roina-arwen.livejournal.com 2002-07-14 09:37 am (UTC)(link)
I know how it is about the no-comments. When I don't get any for a while, I just feel like "does anybody care? Does anybody even *read* what I write?"

I don't always comment, but I *do* read your posts, just so you know. :)

[identity profile] rosepurr.livejournal.com 2002-07-15 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
I do always read your posts and check in on you. I know you are perceived as the strong one, and that makes it harder to reach out to other people sometimes. But we're here, and you can always call/write me.